Funk Be Gone

It’s amazing how one small gesture can make such a huge impact. Today I received my first masterpiece of the year from a student that I'll share below. I lit up with excitement. Especially after yesterday, which you can tell from my post was a bit of a tough day. I will say I was able to squeeze a two-hour nap in my busy day yesterday, but I still woke up in a sort of funk.

BUT… funk be gone! Because today is a new day and to top it off this morning a student chose me to gift a special drawing titled, “Best”. It lifted my spirits in a way I can’t explain. I remember making drawings when I was a kid and you had to be special to receive one from me because those were precious treasures that I spent my hard-earned time on. So, the fact that this student chose me to be the recipient of their masterpiece made me feel like I must be doing something right. I was sure to let the student know that I was honored to accept such an awesome gift and I appreciate it more than they know.

Positivity spreads like wildfire and sharing a smile is contagious. I feel the need to pay it forward, so my hope is that this post of rejuvenation for me has sent positive vibes to you and sprung a smile on your face. If you haven’t heard it lately, YOU are wonderful! Now go slay the day. That’s what I intend to do. 

What a Nightmare

Genre Reflection #1

I stumbled into a topic for a genre reflection, admittedly one I wish I hadn't, but I did. So I thought I’d take advantage of the situation and write one to test it out. You’ll see more of these in the future, but for now here is my first. 

 Excited to get my first lesson this semester started I begin explaining the bell work to my students.

“After I read your new vocabulary words to you, you will place these,” I point to the screen where everything is laid out nicely giving examples of how to use the marks with the words,  “indicators by the words you have heard, words you don’t know, and the words you know and can use in a sentence.”

I look out to my students and chaos has ensued. One student has decided now is the time to rise and show off his new learned talent, the shoe, the new dance craze amongst teens. Of course, he’s killing it. He slayed that dance move better than Michael Jackson ever could, and his classmates join in. I’m dumbfounded and left staring like a deer in headlights. I glance at Dr. Cramer observing me in the back-left corner of the room and she’s writing on her clipboard. I know in my gut, she’s noting on my report, “bad classroom management”.  

Somehow, and I don’t know how because it’s as if time has jumped forward, my students are back to the well-behaved students I know them to be and I’m attempting to hand out the word scrolls I meticulously created on word that was modeled after Kylene Beers’ idea for vocabulary word organizers. I’m so excited to see how well my students work with these, I don’t even notice when I grab the stack of papers that I only have five copies of the sheet. I begin to hand them out and OH NO! This isn’t enough! Quickly I glance at the table, perhaps I have the rest there. No. Nothing! Helplessly, I look at my MT and while I’m sure panic was written all over my face I think, would it be appropriate to ask her to run and make a few copies. I glance at Dr. Cramer again. She’s writing on her clipboard. I’m positive she’s writing in big red letters, “UNPREPARED”.

Tears well up in my eyes. I know I’ve failed miserably. Slowly, I turn towards my MT to ask her to make copies for me when the lights in the room go out. The projector, the laptop screen, even the long skinny window in the back of the room is dark. No light can be seen projecting into the room from anywhere. It’s pitch black. For some reason, I believe that if I could just make it to the door to the classroom and open that door, light will somehow flood the room, and all will be okay. I place my hands out in front of me in an attempt to see with my hands. My foot clumsily finds the corner of a chair, or maybe a desk, and I begin to fall. Right before my body has a chance to hit the floor my eyes flash open and I’m relieved to see the ceiling fan in my bedroom spinning quietly. I feel the cool breeze across my face and listen to the silence for a moment relieved that was just a dream. I look at the clock. 3:12 a.m. Even more relief. I still have close to two hours to sleep off that stress.

This was my nightmare last night that has haunted me all day. I’m exhausted. Perhaps it’s because I just scheduled my observation with Dr. Cramer and my fears are creeping into my dreams. Perhaps it’s because I have almost completed my week of lesson plans and I worry they are not good enough or that I haven’t considered everything I should, so the stress is flowing into even my unconscious thoughts. No matter what the reason for the dream was, I know one thing is certain. I have moments I worry I’m not good enough and stress it to the max. It’s crazy because I love the experiences I’m privileged to have through this program, and really do believe I am successfully applying what I learn. Additionally, I feel that I am meant to teach. I absolutely love it, but days like today I can’t shake the feeling that I’m incapable and not good enough.

Have any of you experienced nightmares about your teaching? Is this normal to stress it so much or am I making it harder on myself than it has to be? If I’m being honest with myself I’m probably making it harder than it has to be. I typically do that because I have high expectations of myself. 

Remembering 9/11 in Our Classrooms

Online Reflection #2

Fearful and Frantic, my senior year in high school, I drove to school. Already aware that one plane crashed into the World Trade Center; I was confused and scared. Once at school, my teachers were visibly upset, some even crying. What was happening? I still didn’t know. Every TV in the building was tuned in to the news with live coverage in New York City. Sympathetically, deliberately, we watched black smoke billow from a tall gray structure so well known to our nation. Out of nowhere, another plane appears to circle around then plows into the East World Trade Center building. My small high school was stunned. We sat in silence as our nation was crippled.

I, along with many others, remember September 11, 2001, vividly. I still tear up when I see the fire departments doing their salutes and giving their moment of silence every September 11^th. It’s been 17 years, but it remains so fresh in my mind and still so relevant to today. This is one of the many reasons I believe we should still be teaching about 9/11.

Most students today were not alive during the attack, but they are still affected by the attacks. A few ways it is still relevant today are airport security, effects on health for the first responders, our nation at war, immigration, etc. This is the perfect opportunity to teach our students that our history affects our present and our future – to teach them that stereotyping is faulty logic and to address fears seen throughout our nation about other cultures – to teach them about patriotism. Think about how it could be taught as part of a bigger unit focusing on, fear, sadness, courage, or even grief. By not teaching about 9/11 so many opportunities are missed. Additionally, we vowed, collectively, as a nation to never forget.

In my search for information about rather or not 9/11 is taught in schools, I asked several friends in my program that agreed they were not seeing it in schools. I looked online and found that while many schools choose to teach it, many also do not. Some are left up to the individual teachers rather they want to teach it or not and some are not sure how to incorporate that into their curriculum. So, I began to think, how do we incorporate that into our curriculum, especially with IUG’s. That’s where the themed unit ideas came in. For example, I know that unit 2 for seventh graders is courage and for eighth grade it is fear. I believe there are definitely ways to work with that.

Being a member of the NEA, I thought, let me check their site for optional materials. Jackpot! They share lesson plans, background materials, approaches to teaching, and more. Furthermore, I found a couple of articles that solidify my argument that 9/11 should be taught in our schools. The National Public Radio (NPR), explains that only about 20 states currently teach it, in the article titles Teaching Sept. 11 to Students Who Were Born After The Attacks, and offers a book study idea using the book, Towers Falling, by Jewel Parker Rhodes. The second I found is a blog that I thought was an interesting read on The Learning Network by Holly Epstein Ojalvo titled, Teaching 9/11 Why? How? Beware though, if you’re anything like me, the video at the top of the article features a family, The Bailey’s, that lost their son in the attack and it is quite possible you will cry. I know I did!  

No Guts, No Glory

Speaking up has induced anxiety within me for as long as I can remember. I found this to be the case more so now that I have begun my internship. Awkwardly at times, I do find the courage to speak up and lend ideas, but never effortlessly.

In expressing my issue about speaking up (rather that be for fear of stepping on toes, fear of someone thinking I have a bad idea, or afraid I might jeopardize relationships) during a recent meeting with fellow colleagues I was given some simple, straightforward, welcoming advice: “You just have to do it”. These six simple words might not seem like much, but they have already made a difference for me.

Reflecting last night, I thought, isn’t speaking up in class what we want our students to do? And don’t we encourage them to just take that leap… just do it. Often, I have stated I want to create a comfortable, welcoming, inclusive classroom so students will feel free to express themselves, ask questions, and grow in my classroom. I love hearing their ideas and ponderings. In doing so we all grow together. This last part was a huge “ding” moment. We ALL grow together when we put ourselves out there. Expressing thoughts, asking questions, and offering advice is not a bad thing. Through collaboration and teamwork, the possibilities are endless.

I think part of my problem too, is not only fear of speaking up, but wanting to let it be known that I know my place. I’m just a student teacher, not the teacher. That thinking was wrong, and in no way should it reflect anything my mentor teacher has ever said or believes. We are colleagues. We are collaborating. We are a team, every day. Yes, I learn from her, but these experiences are valuable to both of us, and she too, can learn from working with me.

I’m trying to go confidently in the direction of my dreams like Henry David Thoreau said, and I feel that more today than yesterday and I’m sure I’ll feel it more tomorrow than today. This journey isn’t always easy, but it sure is enriching and fun.  

Same day UPDATE: Do you ever feel that the universe is talking to you? I'm reading for literacy strategies and I'm so serious when I tell you I just read this line, "Learning is a social endeavor, not an isolated one, and the conversations that occur between learners foster growth for all involved" (Fisher & Frey, 2016, p 23).