No Guts, No Glory

Speaking up has induced anxiety within me for as long as I can remember. I found this to be the case more so now that I have begun my internship. Awkwardly at times, I do find the courage to speak up and lend ideas, but never effortlessly.

In expressing my issue about speaking up (rather that be for fear of stepping on toes, fear of someone thinking I have a bad idea, or afraid I might jeopardize relationships) during a recent meeting with fellow colleagues I was given some simple, straightforward, welcoming advice: “You just have to do it”. These six simple words might not seem like much, but they have already made a difference for me.

Reflecting last night, I thought, isn’t speaking up in class what we want our students to do? And don’t we encourage them to just take that leap… just do it. Often, I have stated I want to create a comfortable, welcoming, inclusive classroom so students will feel free to express themselves, ask questions, and grow in my classroom. I love hearing their ideas and ponderings. In doing so we all grow together. This last part was a huge “ding” moment. We ALL grow together when we put ourselves out there. Expressing thoughts, asking questions, and offering advice is not a bad thing. Through collaboration and teamwork, the possibilities are endless.

I think part of my problem too, is not only fear of speaking up, but wanting to let it be known that I know my place. I’m just a student teacher, not the teacher. That thinking was wrong, and in no way should it reflect anything my mentor teacher has ever said or believes. We are colleagues. We are collaborating. We are a team, every day. Yes, I learn from her, but these experiences are valuable to both of us, and she too, can learn from working with me.

I’m trying to go confidently in the direction of my dreams like Henry David Thoreau said, and I feel that more today than yesterday and I’m sure I’ll feel it more tomorrow than today. This journey isn’t always easy, but it sure is enriching and fun.  

Same day UPDATE: Do you ever feel that the universe is talking to you? I'm reading for literacy strategies and I'm so serious when I tell you I just read this line, "Learning is a social endeavor, not an isolated one, and the conversations that occur between learners foster growth for all involved" (Fisher & Frey, 2016, p 23).