Self-Care: A Temporary or Permanent Fix?

Online Reflection #3

I’m one of those people that always has something going on. I’m not only a married mother of three, but I am also a college student, student teacher, and a student assistant for my university. I am a lot of other things too, but I’m going to go with these as the key items that take up my time. It was brought to my attention in class a few weeks back that I don’t engage in self-care. I say, “brought to my attention”, because as I was traveling through my day-to-day life I hadn’t realized that I was taking care of everyone else and skipping over myself.

Having realized this, I decided it was important to evaluate why I do this. And the plain and simple answer is - guilt. The complex answer is – without trying to write a book to explain this –  that I have a need to be great at or try my hardest in every way possible at everything I do, and if I don’t work hard at all my responsibilities than I feel that I let down others involved. This, of course, creates guilt on so many levels. I feel guilty during idle time, so I work through that time instead. I feel guilty when I don’t reach my expectations - and let me tell you my expectations of myself are extremely high. I will say, I typically looked at this as a positive though, because, well, we’ve all heard the “shoot for the moon and you’ll land among the stars” saying.

As a child, my dad always told me, “if you try your best, your best is good enough”. Perhaps that’s why I feel the need to give my best at everything and take on the world. I also have a hard time saying no to opportunities that come my way because I’m an adult student who wants to explore and experience so many different things. I got a late start and maybe I want to get it all in now? I don’t know. But the fact is this backfires at times because then I’ve got so many things going on it’s hard to find a balance and I end up over-worked.

I find this to be the case for many teachers. We accept a ton of additional responsibilities as we love to and want to help, but we sacrifice our own sanity or peace in the process. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying we shouldn’t put ourselves out there. I love that as teachers we want to help and do all we can, but I think knowing when to say “when” is important. This is a fact, that was brought to my attention the other day by a valued mentor and I’m thankful for this advice. I think all teachers should hear it, remember it always, and adhere to it.

In search of answers, I found a blog titled, “Why It’s Hard for Teachers to Take Care of Themselves” by Jennifer Gonzalez. I look to her often for ideas, thoughts, and answers. If you don’t subscribe to her blog, I highly recommend it. Anyway, in this post, she speaks with Angela Watson who is practically an expert on how teachers spend their time. She outlines a few, of the many, reasons teachers exhaust themselves, and ways to combat this. What I found most interesting and perhaps the biggest reason I felt compelled to reflect on this more, was that we cannot simply rely on quick fixes to get us through. We need to treat self-care as a lifestyle change. Getting a massage every six months is not committing to the self-care we are not only entitled to but need. It’s nice but is only a temporary fix for the moment. One of the few options Watson suggests to make self-care a permanent fixture in our life, and possibly one of my favorites is to essentially condition yourself through the pairing of one action that is already a habit with a new one. So, for example, as soon as dinner is finished, you soak in a warm bath. As a mother of three, the option of soaking in the tub after dinner is not a viable option for now, but I will continue to reflect and decide on a pairing that works for me.

This weekend I did start a mental health journal (inspired by a picture I saw scrolling through Facebook one day) and a doodle page that is similar to a bullet journal. This is not only therapeutic for me because I am one who loves color coordinating calendars, organizing, and journaling, but I’m also using this to conduct a little research on my own about myself. What are common themes about the days I am stressed, feeling meh, or sad? With this information, I will be able to contribute more to my self-care by weeding out the things that do not contribute positively to my mental health, happiness, or productivity. I’m excited to see how this works out and encourage others to try it or something similar if you find yourself in a similar situation as myself.

Doodle "Things of November" Page

Mental Health Journal

I can report that so far, I’m loving the times I get to doodle on the “things of November” side. Even if just for five minutes, it’s satisfying and... all. for. me. I’ll have to report back in a couple of months how this journal turns out. 


Update: 

My oldest daughter was inspired by my journal and created her own. I'm sharing it here in case hers can inspire others as well. 

A Preservice Teacher's View of the KATE Conference 2018

KATE online reflection

Professional development is, I believe, a must for most careers, but especially for educators. Every classroom, every building, every district, and every student is different. Allowing us to collaborate as professionals and share our stories, successes, experiences, and even our not so successful instances allow us to grow as educators and ultimately do what we all want in this profession: assist our students in being successful both inside and outside of school and to help them make and achieve their goals by equipping them with the tools to do so successfully. (Honestly, the list of our wants for our students could go on and on, but I feel that statement was broad enough to lump as much in as possible.) With this said, my attendance at the Kansas Association of Teachers of English (KATE) Conference 2018, afforded me the opportunity to do all of the above and some.

At check-in, I was pleased to see that we are provided with a folder full of helpful tidbits, a name badge, and of course the very important program - I’m serious, hang on tight to that program, it is everything during your time at the conference. While it seems small to be thankful for a folder, I am certainly the type of person that enjoys organization and this little red folder with my name stickered on it was a valued, handy tool. In fact, I’m still using it to hold my plethora of notes taken during the breakout sessions and imagine I’ll keep them in it for safe keeping and easy reference. I look forward to receiving and filling a new folder at next years conference.

I would say the most beneficial moments for me as an educator were the breakout sessions. There were five options for every session to choose from. This made it hard to decide which session I wanted to attend, but beneficial as so many of us have different ideas in mind as to what we want our takeaways to be from our experience there. Day one, unfortunately, did not offer me quite the growth I was hoping for but was still an enjoyable day. The first session I attended was Empowering LGBTQIA+ Staff and Students, while enjoyable, did not provide me with any new information. Perhaps, that is because I have attended a safe space training through GLSEN a few years ago and maybe I should have taken that into consideration when selecting my session. I will say though it reinforced the knowledge I did have, so while I may not have gained much new information or tools to use, it was engaging and brought things to the forefront of my mind again. The second session I attended was probably my least favorite because about halfway through the presentation the speakers, after having been asked what grade level this was intended, declared it was for comp I and II. At that point, I was a bit disappointed as I am secondary, primarily middle level. It might have been beneficial to have the grade level detailed on the blurb section of the program. However, you can always find a silver lining and I was able to give my notes to a colleague who intends to teach comp I next year. We traded notes as it turns out she too went to a session that was not quite her grade level.

I attended six total sessions in two days, so I’ll spare you the details of every last one and now highlight my favorite. That’s hard to do though as the other four I attended were excellent all in their own ways. Using Classroom Libraries to Increase Motivation to Read was probably my overall favorite for many reasons. Not only did I take away a rejuvenated feeling and motivation to build a better library for my students, but I also walked away with newfound knowledge on the types of reading students should have access to in my library, printed reading inventory resources, and an end of the year reading evaluation form. Did you know it is best to have at least 300-600 books in your classroom library? Did you know your library should have manuals, cookbooks, and pamphlets? I did not! This was definitely one of those moments I thought, well duh! Of course our libraries should have these things, it makes complete sense. Especially considering I’ve participated in class discussions regarding the importance THAT students read, not necessarily WHAT they read. You’ve got to love those A-Ha moments. Furthermore, the presenter for this session was extremely engaging. He was excellent at incorporating moments of laughter and who doesn’t love to laugh?

Day 1 of The Kate Conference

The most beneficial for me as a human, not just an educator, was the time spent with not only my fellow core members but other English educators. While it is all in a professional environment, it was so nice to have those breaks in the day to just chat with my people. It is not often with a schedule like mine that I get much free time and I have to say this was probably my favorite part about the entire thing. Yes, we talked about work, and yes, we shared stories about our placements, but it wasn’t for an assignment or work, it was just us enjoying each other’s company and for that, I am truly grateful. It’s awesome to be a member of the English Education graduating class of 2019. Together we are amazing and though I’m excited to graduate in May, I know I’ll miss these days in the coming years, and I’m looking forward to hopefully seeing them all at future KATE conferences.

Day 2 of The KATE Conference

                            

What's New

I’ve been so busy lately I feel I have neglected to update my blog. While it is a goal of mine to keep up with this blog steadily throughout the year I don’t actually have a set time that I prefer to write for it. I know I should narrow that down a bit, but with so much on my plate this semester I feel it’s best to prioritize and take care of the most important first. Unfortunately, that means this gets pushed to the back burner a little more often.

Currently, I have been focused of course on school and my internship, where I have recently finished my week of lesson plans and can’t wait to report back on how well teaching them goes after the week of October 8^th, but I also have had a few amazing opportunities come my way. These opportunities have taken quite a bit of my time, but have been rewarding, fulfilling, and beneficial. I’m so thankful for every one of them.

The first thing that came my way was a job. I needed one to finish out this year because I can’t substitute teach while I student teach and with a family of five, we need two incomes. I got the job and I’m now a student assistant at WSU Haysville which opened up the door to another opportunity.

WSU Haysville Staff

You’ve got to love how one door opening leads right into another. I was asked to speak and participate at the grand opening of WSU Haysville, and of course, I accepted. I was honored they asked! This last Friday was the grand opening and I have to admit though I was nervous, I’m very pleased with the outcome. I was on cloud nine for a good day and a half. The adrenaline from something like that is pretty awesome and considering that I’m an adult student who has gone through many trials and tribulations to get where I am, I was proud. Hard work definitely pays off.

Behind the scenes humor: I have braces. Those that have or have had braces understand the struggle of dry mouth but
add that this was a very windy day, I'm sure you can imagine; The struggle is real. 

More behind the scenes humor: What you don't see in this picture is that
I struggled to cut that ribbon. Ha! 

Secondly, today I will engage in a curriculum analysis/review with many other core 3 interns for USD 259. Not only do I love my fellow core 3 classmates and enjoy collaborating with them, but I felt this was an excellent opportunity to grow professionally and an experience I couldn’t turn down. The third thing that came my way was an opportunity to serve on the Kansas Teacher of the Year selection committee. One student was selected at WSU and that student was me! I kept this one quiet for a moment because I wanted to get my ratings completed before saying anything. Not that I’m getting a lot of traffic on my blog currently, but I still felt better about doing it that way first.

In addition to all of this, I am still a mother of three, who are all involved in sports. One in tennis, one in cheer, choir, and band, and one in volleyball. Unfortunately, I do have to miss all concerts this semester because I got this new job, but I keep reassuring my kids; mom has one more school year to complete then I’ll be able to attend more functions. Thank goodness for my husband who really steps up to the plate in my absence.

With all of this, you’re probably wondering when I get time to work on homework. I know that was my worry when everything picked up for me. The answer to that is weekends. This weekend I spent all day Saturday and Sunday doing homework. It was busy and jam-packed, and honestly, my eyes were strained from the screen time, but worth it in the end, because the only place success comes before work is the dictionary. I don’t know who said that quote, but I love it! Furthermore, I feel that this also prepares me for my teaching career. Just because our contract states we are in the building from 7:00 am to 4:00 pm (I’m totally winging that number, by the way, I’ve never seen a contract, but hope to soon) doesn’t mean we only work from 7:00 am to 4:00 pm.

It feels better to have updated my blog in some way. It’s not necessarily a reflection like I prefer, but an update is still a post. I’m excited to look back on these posts a year, two years, or even five years from now. Who knows maybe this post will spur a reflection from me in the future. Hopefully, I’m still blogging then. Wouldn’t that be fun! 

Funk Be Gone

It’s amazing how one small gesture can make such a huge impact. Today I received my first masterpiece of the year from a student that I'll share below. I lit up with excitement. Especially after yesterday, which you can tell from my post was a bit of a tough day. I will say I was able to squeeze a two-hour nap in my busy day yesterday, but I still woke up in a sort of funk.

BUT… funk be gone! Because today is a new day and to top it off this morning a student chose me to gift a special drawing titled, “Best”. It lifted my spirits in a way I can’t explain. I remember making drawings when I was a kid and you had to be special to receive one from me because those were precious treasures that I spent my hard-earned time on. So, the fact that this student chose me to be the recipient of their masterpiece made me feel like I must be doing something right. I was sure to let the student know that I was honored to accept such an awesome gift and I appreciate it more than they know.

Positivity spreads like wildfire and sharing a smile is contagious. I feel the need to pay it forward, so my hope is that this post of rejuvenation for me has sent positive vibes to you and sprung a smile on your face. If you haven’t heard it lately, YOU are wonderful! Now go slay the day. That’s what I intend to do.